We Don't Get Over, We Learn to Live with It

Friend's name,

been online and trying to work. but three people who have met you are
asking how you are. i tell them you are fine and resist the telling
them i think you are not that fine because you're going through so
much. and now i'm worried.

you have to forgive me if i worry a lot. i am one person who believes
that God sends me people (and sometimes, shit), for a reason.

i know you are going through a hard time right now. you are 25 (i had
my quarter life crisis at your age), recently had your heart broken
(as i told you, although we only lasted for 8 months, i have known him
since high school, he liked me since high school, i am friends with
his siblings, and i know his parents and his parents liked me, I
trusted him completely--in short, he was the last person who I thought
would hurt me the way he did), haven't totally decided of moving on,
have found something you are passionate about but doesn't pay that
well, lost your grandma (i lost mine when i was 24 going on 25) and
work is keeping you sane. You can so totally hate me right now if I
tell you I know how you feel because I've been there. But I won't tell
you that. I personally believe that although there are incidents that
happen to us, we process some of them differently.

What I am going to do for you is share how it was for me. The least
this can do is to provide you something to read during your breaks.
Perfect with techno :) I have numbered them so you can go through it
in sections.

1. This is the closest personality profile I have ever had that
reflected how depressed i was back then. My waist line went from 29 to
26 inches with no effort! I couldnt eat and sleep.

http://caro-mia.blogspot.com/2006/06/galing-kay-twenty.html

2. We broke up Sept 24. but it hit me on Oct 31 to Nov 1 (we had a
really loooong talk. I was really crying in public. eew.) After that,
we still saw each other. we even went to Baguio. Yeah. Lame. My
Friendster status was "It's Complicated." It was just so comfortable.
So anyway, this was me before he went to Oman.

http://caro-mia.blogspot.com/2006/02/why-bora-was-bad-idea.html


3. This was me in June.

http://caro-mia.blogspot.com/2006/06/death-by-accident.html

"Parang kang yung kuya ko, 6 months na sila hiwalay ng girlfriend niya
pero hanggang ngayon laging may depressed...gutom ako tsaka
depressed...parang gago."---translation---You remind me of my brother,
it's been 6 months when he broke up with his fiancee but up to now he
still is depressed...[he would always say things like] i am hungry and
depressed...so lame."

Sana may time space warp para makapunta ako sa panahon na hindi na ako
nalulungkot, na tanggap ko na na patay na talaga at hindi lang
naka-coma. Go to the time when I will no longer hope and just pull the
plug to end it all. Euthanasia. Tama kaya 'yun?---translation--- I
hope that time space warp was possible so I can get to the time when I
will no longer be sad, that i have fully accepted that it is dead and
not just in a coma (refering to love like it was a living thing).
Euthanasia. Can euthanasia be right?

4. This was how bad I was at moving on...books were being lent to me
to drive home a point.

http://caro-mia.blogspot.com/2006/06/tonight-is-almost-over.html

5. I was so bad I still brought him to Club Paradise in Palawan for a
vacation when he came for a vacation to try prove i'm okay and that
it's okay to still be friends. I got separate rooms for us. but that
was the worst vacation ever. we made a pact but he didn't do the consequence if he broke it which he did BIG TIME. felt sick after. i disliked myself for bringing him there. Palawan was
a promise i made him before we broke up but i still kept it after.
stupid but i am like that. i keep my promises.

http://caro-mia.blogspot.com/2006/06/leavin-on-jet-plane.html
http://caro-mia.blogspot.com/2006/06/what-d-r-e-m-s-may-come.html


6. And this was when the 60-day no contact started. i found ways to socialize

http://caro-mia.blogspot.com/2006/06/why-party.html

7. But I checked his friendster regularly. And i kept coming back to
figuring out who the girl was. Then I found out. I needed MORE work.

http://caro-mia.blogspot.com/2006/06/its-small-world-after-all.html

8. It was a roller coaster ride by July. Pablo Neruda. Self-talks.
American pie The Wedding made me cry for the most part.

http://caro-mia.blogspot.com/2006/07/will-you-still-love-me-in-morning.html

9. My 10Hs. One of my self-talks.

http://caro-mia.blogspot.com/2006/07/10-hs.html

10. This was me by Oct 2006. More than a year after we broke up.

http://caro-mia.blogspot.com/2006_10_01_archive.html

11. I stopped blogging. for several months. I kept myself busy but at
the same time, i worked on my heart and my plans which included him
before. When I think about it now, all i really needed to do was to
make the decision. I made myself suffer. hahaha

http://caro-mia.blogspot.com/2007/03/got-you.html

12. This was last Easter.
http://caro-mia.blogspot.com/2007/04/easter-thoughts.html

What I did wrong was I always looked at the good memories and pushed
the bad ones back which I think now are as important as the good ones.
We wouldn't have fought to the point that we ended breaking up if
there was nothing wrong.
So anyway, here I am battle-scarred but with so much to look forward to.

And like you, I know I will get to this point. But when and how, that
is all up to you.

I will pray for you.

You have just seen somewhat an outline of a "fiction" book i will
write when I retire to become a full time parent and wife to some
European out there :) or american, or australian. i don't really know
yet.

XXXXX

Caro Mia