Death by Accident

Why is it that difficult to move on and forget? In my case, it was just 8 months, officially. Come to think of it, there were both good times and bad that things should even out by now.

"Parang kang yung kuya ko, 6 months na sila hiwalay ng girlfriend niya pero hanggang ngayon laging may depressed...gutom ako tsaka depressed...parang gago."

On my way home, I got to thinking again. Got to talk to myself about why I'm making it hard for myself to let go. Sure there were bad times (late again. cannot be reached. can't go there, I got work to do. ) but I saw them as mere moments. No matter where I was, whatever I was doing, whatever I was praying for, whatever I was planning for, you were part of them all. Every laugh, every talk, every movie, every dinner, every problem shared, every little thing-- I saw all of them as things we would be doing together for the rest of our lives. That's why it is difficult... It was not just 8 months of my life. I lost a lifetime.

"Don't let the lessons you learned from past love rule your future love" or Twenty's favorite "it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" are the worst words people can say to me now. You came to me. I did not go to you. I was just standing there. Why did you have to run me over and leave me to die?

I have heard about people like you. You told me you are capable of this. I should have know better. How stupid for me to think I was the exception when I was part of the RULES? Sana may time space warp para makapunta ako sa panahon na hindi na ako nalulungkot, na tanggap ko na na patay na talaga at hindi lang naka-coma. Go to the time when I will no longer hope and just pull the plug to end it all. Euthanasia. Tama kaya 'yun?