I'm one person who believes that the only way someone can hurt me is because I allowed him to. That the only person I can control is myself. shit happens but what makes the difference is my attitude towards the shit. Whatever I choose to do, someone will get hurt. Either I do or i don't, I will hurt myself or someone. But I also believe that hurt, like all feelings, is fleeting. That there are no right and wrong decisions. It's about making a decision and making it right.

Texted in between sleep the whole day. i came home like 4:30 or 5 am already. no one was home except my dog. which reminds me, i have to save for her revaccinations.

i am "naturally fierce" when I am not depressed. I don't like it when people avoid questions or if someone beats around the bush. get to the point. time is too precious to waste. while i do believe "it's the journey, not the destination," the reverse can also apply. it's either you do, or you do not.

i know i can trust too much and believe too much specially in the goodness of people. i am by nature, a loner so i strive to open up but since it's not natural for me, i can overdo it and let people into my life that easily and eventually, i can even be accused of setting myself up for shit (if it happens). pardon the shits. i am using shit to replace "awful things, awful people, traumatic incidents, etc." it's easier to use.

do i need a drink? i cant tell yet. i was so frustrated last night i finished a bottle of red wine by myself. but the best part is, i didn't have to pay for it hahaha

i might as well get ready to go to Girly's birthday.

it has been a while since i last blogged. i've actually been to visayas (bohol), mindanao (surigao) and north luzon (baguio) in a span of three weeks. if i said yes to the trip this weekend to camarines, i might be too tired for the next weekend.

i've been to cloud 9. i've been to Naked Island which is no longer naked because of a lone coconut tree that was recently planted. i got to jump off the side of a sohotan cove cave. i've dined with politicians. i've heard eco-tourism promotion paired with being open to a golf course. i've had merienda beside Mainit Lake. i got to see la trinidad's farms and church bell.

i also have put makeup on roughly a hundred different faces in five days. have traveled to alabang almost everyday.

the last two movies i have seen are Evening and Stardust, with the same person, in the same mall, both last full shows.

i was made to wait for hours...but i didn't get the chance to get mad. instead, i had to cheer him up.

and i have grown fond of a gentle giant. giant like 6'2"

i am in a gray area. i think.

"Oist" (12:27 am 15-Oct-2007)
"?"
"? ka din"
"Hala. Lasing ka na naman....."

While I was taught to love people unconditionally, to put other people's needs before my own, I am learning not to...just because i don't want to learn to hate.

"We may give our human loves the unconditional allegiance which we only owe to God. Then they become gods; then they become demons. Then they will destroy us, and also destroy themselves. For natural loves that are allowed to become gods do not remain loves. They are still called so, but can become in fact complicated forms of hatred."
—C.S. LEWIS, The Four Loves

I found this piece at a very timely hour.

http://www.manilatimes.net/national/2007/may/14/yehey/life/20070514lif4.html