I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

"May doesn't look nearly as mad as did April for Goat people. You have begun to feel stronger about how to cope with the eccentrically erratic mood of the Tiger year. The first eleven days of May, Mercury will still be in retrograde mode. Don't go vowing undying fidelity or committing to a contract you can't get out of easily until at least the 12th. After that you can begin to live almost normally again. The shock of the hectic pace of the Tiger year will have completely worn off. Take yourself by the hand and wander into to the nearest church, temple or mosque to thank your lucky stars you made it. Then, get moving on your pet project. If your paying job takes all of your time during the week, you still have evenings and weekends to attend to that creative matter you are so keen on completing. Whether you're painting or sewing or building tree houses, you want the result to be not only practical - but aesthetically pleasing. Nobody does things with his or her hands better than you. This month, try to fend off all interlopers. Reduce your social life to near zero and stick to that workshop or studio against all odds. If your love sector is only slouching along it's likely because you have difficulty understanding what the other person needs from you. You are such a dreamy soul that you often forget you aren't alone on this earth. The person who loves you most needs your attention. A pat on the head (or behind), a bunch of flowers or a bottle of fine wine is a good start. But your lover needs your voice too. Speak up and say I love you. What does it cost? Nothing. Take care with the feelings of family members. You have an older relative who wants to know that you are just fine. Give them a call to reassure them. At the end of May you will be contacted by someone important in your network of acquaintances. They need you for a particular favor that only you can perform - a handyman job or some artistic endeavor. Agree to do this for them. They will return to favor tenfold."

From this application.

Today, I have successfully prevented a potentially heartbreaking process, I think.

I have been wanting to do something about you. I cannot keep you, that I know. I don't want to be haunted with sadness when you leave. I do not want to keep good memories of you. When I think about it, no, I don't want to be just a friend. Well, not at this point at least. Eventually, maybe. Because you are a good person. And I like you very much. But it's not the usual "like" and that's why I don't like it.

I hope I have been all the things a guy will not like in a girl. I have shown you emotional, talkativeness and overzealousness. True, at some points,I may have shown parts of the real me. The point of it was to deliver them consistently, continuously and in huge portions.

I hopefully have FOCUSED on you enough to make you not want me in your life. That way, I have no choice.

I want to think straight and not smile when moments with you cross my mind. They keep coming quite often. In repeats and they drive me crazy! I have to take matters into my own hands. I am the only person who can change how I am.

I know I either have to be too proud or you have to make the choice to walk away from me. While it is possible that I will run after you (which I pray my litttle pride will prevent me from), the latter is still easier. I have come to a point where my walls are down and am being torn apart. And the little strength comes from being a girl. And so a girl, I have become.

A sad one.