Thanks Michael for the lyrics and the MP3, too =)

Hot and Cold
by Kate Perry

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you, PMS
Like a bitch
I would know

And you over think
Always speak
Cryptically

I should know
That you're no good for me

[CHORUS]
Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(you) You don't really want to stay, no
(but you) But you don't really want to go-o
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down

We used to be
Just like twins
So in sync
The same energy
Now's a dead battery
Used to laugh bout nothing
Now your plain boring

I should know that
You're not gonna change

[CHORUS]

Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bi-polar
Stuck on a roller coaster
Can't get off this ride

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes

[CHORUS 2:]
Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(you) You don't really want to stay, no
(but you) But you don't really want to go-o
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down, down...

I am hooked on Burn Notice's Jeffrey T. Donovan (I found out he's born May 11, 1968) and True Blood's Alexander Skarsgard (younger, to my surprise, and born August 25, 1976).

I like how Michael is tough, smart and funny, and how he cried when he thought Fiona was dead. I like how Eric, despite the fact that Bill gets the bill, he still manages to shine. I so think he is deadly handsome during the scene in the department store where Bill was choosing clothes. How can I ever finish writing when Eric's overwhelming presence makes me look at the television?

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She doesnt get your humour like I do

I'm in the room, its a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesnt like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're lookin for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me

Walkin the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I cant help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the park bench thinkin to myself
Hey isnt this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I havent seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you find I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standin by, waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that?
You belong with me
You belong with me

Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.

Can't you see that I'm the one who understand you?
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by or waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that
You belong with me
You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with me

---This song by Taylor Swift is stuck in my head. I know to whom I can sing this although, am not sure if she is a cheerleader. I was :P ----

This was emailed to me. I will translate this to English as soon as I have time to.

Meanwhile, those who can understand it, enjoy!

ANO ANG DAPAT GAWIN KUNG TINATAMAD MAGTRABAHO?

Sa buhay empleyado merong dalawang pagpipilian kung tinatamad kang magtrabaho.

A. Una ay umabsent.

1. Kapag umiikot na kaagad sa katawan mo ang katamaran pagkagising pa lang sa umaga ay mag-isip ka na kaagad ng palusot kung bakit ka aabsent. Paalala: dapat ay memoryado mo ang mga dahilang nagamit mo na dati (tip: gumawa ng isang logbook) ng sa gayon ay hindi ka parang sirang plakang nag-uulit lang lagi ng rason ng di pagpasok. Alalahanin na tuso din ang mga bossing.



2. Kapag nakaisip ka na ng magandang dahilan ay agad mag-text o tumawag sa bossing mo, the earlier the better. Kung ayaw mo ng madaming tanong e mag-text ka at kung nais mo namang tumawag ay siguraduhin mong magaling kang umarte kagaya ng kung ikaw ay kunwaring me sakit ay umubo ka ng paunti-unti habang kinakausap ang bossing mo.



3. Matapos mag-text/tumawag ay bumalik sa higaan at magplano ka na ng gusto mong gawin sa buong araw. Malaking posibilidad na magtutulog ka lang buong araw. Sya nga pala, kapag tumawag ang opisina sa kalagitnaan ng araw, laging tandaan ang rasong ginamit (consistent ka dapat), maaari namang i-off mo na lang ang phone mo para hindi ka maistorbo buong araw.



BABALA: Siguraduhing regular ka na sa kumpanyang pinagtratrabahuhan kung ikaw ay mag-aabsent.





B. Pangalawa ay pumasok



Eto ang dapat gawin ng mga empleyado kapag tinatamad magtrabaho pero ayaw umabsent. Ang mga taong ito ay nuknukan ng kapal ng mukha. Ang mga sumusunod na instructions ay napakasimple pero effective. Meron ding oras na nakatakda, magsisismula ng alas ocho ng umaga at magtatapos ng alas singko ng hapon.



1. Pumasok ng sakto sa oras. Huwag kang male-late at huwag ka din namang excited masyado. 8:00



2. Pagdating mo sa opisina ay ilapag mo lang kaagad ang gamit mo sa lamesa at magtungo kaagad sa pantry. Magtimpla ng kape o kung anuman ang iniinom mo pag umaga. Habang nasa loob ay makipag-usap sa mga tao doon, patagalin mo ang usapan (tip: pag-usapan ang mga headline ngayong araw o mga nangyari kahapon sa loob ng opisina). Kung walang tao sa pantry ay mag-yaya ka ng kasama bago pa man pumasok doon. 8:00-8:30



3. Matapos sa pantry ay magtungo na sa lamesa mo dala-dala pa din ang kape, ito ay para hindi ka antukin buong araw. Buksan ang computer. Matapos nito ay buksan ang mailbox mo. Basahin ang mga email mapabago man o luma. Buksan lahat ng pwedeng buksang attachments, makakabuti ito sa pagpapatagal ng oras. O kaya naman ay mag-email ka sa mga kakilala mong matagal mo ng di nakakamusta. Kapag di ka pa nakuntento ay gawing chat ang email (ito ay sa kadahilanang banned na ang halos lahat ng messengers sa mga kompanya pati google talk di pinalagpas, mga hayop na IT yan). Pano? Mag-email ka sa kakilala mong alam mong merong access sa internet sa mga oras na yon tapos antayin ang reply, wholla! Instant chat session. Sya nga pala, habang ginagawa ang mga nasa taas ay huwag makakalimot inumin ang kape..lalamig ito. 8:30-9:30



4. Matapos ang makabuluhag paggamit ng computer ay magdala ng mga papel-papel at magtungo sa kung saan mo man nais. Mas maganda kung mukha kang aborido hawak ang mga props mo habang papaalis ng lamesa, ito ay para sabihin ng bossing mo sampu ng kasamahan mo sa trabaho na busy ka lagi. Magtungo sa ibang department na me kakilala at makipag-usap ng kung anu-ano. 9:30-10:00



5. Tignan mo nga naman. Alas dies na! Break time na ulit! Pagkatapos mag-lamyerda sa ibang department ay magtungo ulit sa puwesto at ibaba ang mga scratch paper na props. Dalhin ang tasa sa pantry at magtimpla ulit ng panibagong kape, libre ang kape kaya magtimpla ka lang ng magtimpla. Magtungo sa labas kung ikaw ay nag-yoyosi kung di naman ay manatili sa pantry at makipag-usap ka na lang sa mga tao doon. 10:00-10:15



6. Pagkatapos ng break ay bumalik sa lamesa at humarap sa computer (huwag ng magdala ng kape sa lamesa tama na ang nainom mo, sisikmurain ka na sa sobrang gahaman). Tapos ka na sa mga emails mo, ngayon naman ay mag-internet ka na lang ng kung anik-anik. Pero bago mag-internet ay magbukas ka muna ng office document kahit wala kang balak gawin ang mga ito, makakatulong ang documentong ito mamya. Tapos ay mag-internet ka na. Paalala: dapat ay alerto ka sa mga tao sa paligid mo, kapag alam mong me padating pindutin ang ALT at TAB ng sabay. Ito ay para makapunta sa office document na binuksan mo kanina. Kung mabagal ang iyong reflexes ay dapat mabilis ka sa paggamit ng mouse para ma-click mo agad sa taskbar ung documentong nasabi. Kapag na-master mo na ang technique na ito ay di na mapapansin ng bossing mo na nag-iinternet ka lang sa mga oras na ito. 10:15-12:00



7. Tama na muna ang computer. Lunch break na! Alam mo na ang dapat gawin. 12:00-1:00



8. Pagkatapos kumain ay gawin ulit ang #5. Habang gingawa ito ay maglabas ulit ng mga scratch papers na para bang me hinahanap. Tandaan na dapat seryoso ang mukha mo habang gingawa ang mga ito (tip: ikunot ang noo para makakuha ng mukhang seryoso). 1:00-3:00


9. Break time na ulit. Ang bilis nga naman ng oras. Hala..punta na ulit sa pantry. Maaari ka na ulit mag-kape at makipag-chikahan. 3:00-3:15


10. Bumalik sa lamesa at guluhin ito sa pamamagitan ng paglabas ng sandamakmak na mga papel. Tapos ay gawin ulit and #5. Tignan ang oras sa computer mo. Kung 4:30 na ay simulan mo ng ayusin ang ginulong lamesa. Mag-ayos ayos ka na din ng sarili. Kung kasing kapal ng adobe ang mukha mo ay magtungo ka ulit sa pantry para mag-kape (tandaan na dapat me kasama sa pantry) o kaya naman ay gawin ang #3. Matapos ang lahat ng ito ay umuwi ka na, para mo ng awa wala ka na ngang silbi ay nangdadamay ka pa ng iba sa katamaran mo. 3:15-5:00

"To destiny, may we recognize it when we see it. To love, may we stay away from it when it's no good for us."

I have these lines written in a notebook (2007), on a To Do page. Somehow, even if a good 2 years have passed, they still are valid.

I am trying to remember where I heard them. Maybe I will google them later.

For some strange reason, this song keeps playing in my head. I had to get it out.

The song that says it all, (well at least for me)when I think about Miss Saigon.

"Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is,than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way.What you are in love with, what seizes your imaginationwill affect everything. It will decide what will get youout of bed in the mornings, what you will do with yourevenings, how you will spend your weekends, what youread, who you know, WHAT BREAKS YOUR HEART,and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide EVERYTHING. "

- Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ

Alich emailed this to everyone in our e-group. This is funny and amusing.

Dear Mr. Bob Ong,

Matagal ko na pong nililigawan itong chik na nakilala ko recently sa isang party. Nasisiraan na ako ng bait. Pag nakilala mo siya, tiyak matutunaw ang utak mo sa kakaisip sa kanya.

Hingi lang po ako ng advice. Paano ko po siya mapapaibig? Bibigyan ko ba siya ng tula ? Haharanahin ko ba siya? Roses? Kalachuchi? Chocnut at sampaguita?

In lab na po ako. Ano po ang gagawin ko? Is she the one?

Lubos na gumagalang,
-MATT -



- ANG REPLY -

Dear MATT,

Hindi ka talaga sasagutin niyang nililigawan mo. Napaka-old school kasi ng mga tactics mo. Wala nang gumagawa ng ganyan. Sa panahon ngayon, lahat ng bagay, nagtaas na. Nagtaas na ang gasolina, nagtaas na ang presyo ng bigas at mga bilihin, nagtaas na ang pamasahe, at lalong nagtaas na rin ng standards ang mga babae. Hindi na uubra yang siopao at suman mo. Lalo na yung huli mong binigay, hopia at santan. Ano ba pare? Ano’ng era ka ba pinanganak?

Pero don’t worry. It’s not too late. May pag-asa ka pa. Hindi pa naman siya kinakasal at di pa niya sinasagot yung crush niya na basketball player. Kahit lamang siya ng sampung paligo sa’yo, daanin mo sa utak at creativity. Dahil aminin na natin, iyon na LANG talaga ang pag-asa mo. Heto, bibigyan kita ng mga simple, tried and tested na mga regalo para di siya mapurga sa hopia at siomai. Sundin mo ‘to, tiyak na lalaglag ang bagang niya sa’yo. Mga medyo more than your usual regalong panligaw:

1. Bili ka ng century tuna. Ilagay mo sa isang napakalaking box—yung sinlaki ng TV o kaya box ng desktop PC mo. Tapos balutan mo ng magarang pambalot. Kuntsabahin mo na yung teacher niya sa Calculus. Sa gitna ng klase, bigla kang kumatok sa classroom. Pero dapat, incognito ka. Magsuot ka ng LBC jacket, magshades, at magsuot ng surgical mask. Pagpasok mo sa classroom, iabot mo yung box sa teacher, at papirmahin mo ng acknowledgement receipt. Tapos pabuksan mo in front of everyone. Tignan mong mabuti ang reaction sa mukha niya.

Later during the day, pag tinanong niya kung bakit Century Tuna ang binigay mo, iikot mo yung lata at ituro mo yung sign na “Omega 8.” Pag tinanong niya kung ano yung Omega 8, sabihin mo: “because you’re good for my heart.”

2. Mangolekta ka ng isang dosenang hanger na libre mong nakukuha tuwing nagpapa-dry clean ka. Tapos, sa bawat hanger, isulat mo: “I miss hanging out with you.”

3. Instead of roses, kuha ka ng tissue paper sa banyo ng school mo. Gawin mong tissue paper roses. Gawa ka ng isang dosena. Pag-abot mo, sabihin mo, “Ganito kalinis ang pag-ibig ko sa’yo.”

4. Bili ka ng tetra pack ng mantikang Minola. Tapos bilugan mo yung “with Omega 8.” Hindi na siya magtatanong kung bakit.

5. Bigyan mo ng ice cream cone. Dapat cone lang at walang ice cream. Pag hinanap niya yung ice cream, sabihin mo, “natunaw na kakatitig sa’yo.”

6. Bili ka ng sandosenang box ng crayola. Kolektahin mo lahat ng black. Lagay mo sa isang box ng crayola. Sa likod, isulat mo: “Walang kulay ang buhay kung wala ka.”

7. Bigyan mo siya ng mumurahing bumbilya. Alam mo na siguro by this time kung ano ang isasagot pag tinanong niya kung bakit.

8. Itext mo siya ng: “Hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop, hindi tayo halaman. Bagay tayo. Bagay!”

9. Bigyan mo siya ng calling card ng MMDA. Sa likod, isulat mo “para pag nagkabanggaan ang puso natin.”

10. Padalhan mo ng Happy Meal pero huwag mong ibibigay yung libreng laruan. Paghinanap niya, sabihin mo: “Ako yung freebie, at ikaw yung meal na nagpapahappy sa’kin.”

11. Sunugin ang kanyang bahay at padalhan ng hallmark card: "aanhin mo pa ang bahay mo, kung matagal ka nang nakatira sa puso ko"

12. Pagkatapos sunugin ang kanyang bahay, padalhan siya ng isang box ng posporo, Guitar brand. unahan ang kanyang galit at sabihin, "ayan ang posporo na ginamit ko sa pagsunog ng iyong bahay, match na tayo"

13. Sa kalagitnaan ng isang malupit na bagyo, pasalubungan sya ng "salbabida", wag payong, o mainit na mami. Pag nagtanong bkt? ang isagot mo ay " ayaw kong malunod ka sa pag mamahal ko."

14. Pag pumayag na siyang makipagdate, dalhin mo siya sa canteen at huwag bibitawan ang kamay. Pag tinanong niya kung bakit, ituro mo yun sign na “don’t leave your valuables unattended”

Handang tumulong lagi,

-Bob Ong-

1. "Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."

2. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."

3. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."

4. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."

5. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."

6. "Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo...Dapat lumandi ka din."

7. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."

8. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."

9. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."

10. "Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."

11. "Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."

12. "Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."

13. "Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."

14. "Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."

15. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."

16. “Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala”

17. “Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan”

18. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay!

Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"

19. "Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo."

20. "Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."

21. "Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakata kot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka.."

(I was watching CNN and a story on Britain's Got Talent Audition went on. Heard this amazing song AGAIN from Susan Boyle. From Les Miserables)

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

This blog has always been a way for me to let people know, myself included, how I am at certain points of my life. This has been a way of expressing unrequited love, healing and the like.

My Recent Random Ramblings:

Love and the relationships it creates has always been a fascinating thing for me. Growing up in a family that was not what the Catholic church will call “normal,” it was difficult to say what it was. All I knew was what it was capable of doing and man, while it can build, it can also destroy. Eventually, I concluded that love is a decision. It is a decision to stick it out with the boy/guy I loved despite the fact that he was beginning to see someone else. It was love, I told myself, that is why I allowed him to keep me close despite the fact that he already had a “hunny.” Maybe it was. Maybe it was just my stubbornness.

This is who you are, this is what you do, and this is why you do the things you do. But despite these, I still love you. You may hurt me, forget me or annoy me, but they don’t change the fact that I do love you. I can choose to stay. Or I can just leave. Either way, I still love you.


I do not want to be an extra in your life. I am either part of it or not. I am not made like you. I cannot give my heart, without my body and my soul. It is a terrible thing that I have reached this point that I have to ask you if I am part of you or not. If I am, then be fair. I do not ask for what is impossible because there is no point in asking. I only ask what I think is due me, what you promised is for me. I do not ask for marriage. I do not ask for all of your time. But I hope you understand that the same way you make time for the people that are important to you, I expect you to do the same for me. You say “I want us to spend as much time as we can together,” and this is also what I want. But it is not enough that you say it. You also have to be willing to make it happen. And if you are with me, don’t just give me the remnants of your day. We don’t spend every day together so it should be understandable if I want the few days I have to actually matter.

If I am not, then be man enough to just admit that you just made me believe we had a chance to forever.

I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

Woke up quite early today. Watch two DVDs with my uncle: Nanny Diaries and Must Love Dogs. The poem above's from the latter.

But it was the first that moved me to tears. Pfff.

This is a long overdue post I wanted to write.

When I read Tweet's entry about the movie Twilight which you can read here, I made a resolution to watch it. I wanted to know if this movie, a vampire-human love story, will make me feel kilig.

And it did. Probably not during the same sappy moments that most teenage girls like but during this one scene when Edward played the piano. It is not everyday you find a vampire who can play a piece named after you. *sigh*

I went with my youngest brother. Last December 3, 10 pm and I sat in H12 of Eastwood Cinema 2. How do I remember these details? I kept the ticket and I am looking at it now. This ticket will go to the trash in a few minutes. After I finish this and my last Toohey's New draught beer for the night.

With the difficult times I have been through, I shouldn't be someone who will root for this human-vampire love story. Diyusko naman. Ang tanda ko na para kiligin."I should know better," having been through heartbreaks, major and then some.

Inside the cinema though, I kept my been-there older-woman composure. Sure, there was a youthful, romantic energy in the theater but this did not affect me. Or at least that was how I wanted to look like. But at certain times, I was texting "I love Edward" to Monette who was waiting for me somewhere in Makati. My brother didn't know I was kilig (which somehow made the feeling contained so stronger). It was a moment when I was solely responsible to myself and myself was not particularly feeling good about how myself was feeling kilig. But during that piano moment, I knew that I still was still the same girl who gets kilig even if no one else knows about it. That evens out things. Kilig has its purpose. Made me realize I am in fact, someone whose heart was once broken but is now capable of loving again. As Tweet says "It was really nice to discover that, no matter how many legitimate reasons I have for being otherwise, I will always be that idealistic, romantic girl who would hold out for the real thing—for the thing that was real to her. Because she had decided long ago that nothing less is worth it."

And like I said in this blog last September 30, 2005:

I want REAL love. Consuming, inconvenient, can't-live-without-each-other love.

If there is anything that I will always be thankful for is that I am blessed with ways of finding out the truth about people and things and situations. It is as if the universe conspires for me to be able to do so. And it is also a curse as I have no reason to ignore it.

I am not the kind of person who says a lot. I will just listen. Observe. I never judge because I do not want to be judged. And it is frustrating for me when people talk behind my back. There are things I do or not do because I am careful of its implications.

Sometimes not making a point is my point.