Random Ramblings

This blog has always been a way for me to let people know, myself included, how I am at certain points of my life. This has been a way of expressing unrequited love, healing and the like.

My Recent Random Ramblings:

Love and the relationships it creates has always been a fascinating thing for me. Growing up in a family that was not what the Catholic church will call “normal,” it was difficult to say what it was. All I knew was what it was capable of doing and man, while it can build, it can also destroy. Eventually, I concluded that love is a decision. It is a decision to stick it out with the boy/guy I loved despite the fact that he was beginning to see someone else. It was love, I told myself, that is why I allowed him to keep me close despite the fact that he already had a “hunny.” Maybe it was. Maybe it was just my stubbornness.

This is who you are, this is what you do, and this is why you do the things you do. But despite these, I still love you. You may hurt me, forget me or annoy me, but they don’t change the fact that I do love you. I can choose to stay. Or I can just leave. Either way, I still love you.


I do not want to be an extra in your life. I am either part of it or not. I am not made like you. I cannot give my heart, without my body and my soul. It is a terrible thing that I have reached this point that I have to ask you if I am part of you or not. If I am, then be fair. I do not ask for what is impossible because there is no point in asking. I only ask what I think is due me, what you promised is for me. I do not ask for marriage. I do not ask for all of your time. But I hope you understand that the same way you make time for the people that are important to you, I expect you to do the same for me. You say “I want us to spend as much time as we can together,” and this is also what I want. But it is not enough that you say it. You also have to be willing to make it happen. And if you are with me, don’t just give me the remnants of your day. We don’t spend every day together so it should be understandable if I want the few days I have to actually matter.

If I am not, then be man enough to just admit that you just made me believe we had a chance to forever.