Sadness and grief

I'm just so sad. My grandma's death and now my brother's grief over not passing the board for ECE. And all the time, I have to act I'm fine, that everyone ---my mom, my brother, my aunts and cousins---can depend on me...that I can be a source of strength. The fact is, I am broken inside.

It's difficult to pretend that I am as strong as I look to be... I wonder how long before I will breakdown...sana lang hindi nervous breakdown, di ba? Ayaw ko na mabaliw ng higit pa sa kabaliwan ko ngayon.