It's been two months. And for some reason, I just felt I needed to finish watching Before Midnight today. I started watching it a few days back but didn't get past the scene where Jesse was watching the kids swim in the lake.

“If you want true love, then this is it,” Jesse says. “And if you can’t see it, then you’re blind.”

This was the first movie in the trilogy that I actually felt I was the guy. In Before Sunrise and Before Sunset, most of Celine's lines felt they were mine, as well as her sense of pride, feminism, and her struggles. But in Before Midnight, I could see myself in Jesse's shoes: his commitment to what they have, his 'boring' routine, and and his attempts in making Celine laugh.

I was that (I still am able to make my Celine laugh). But my Celine is blind. (Now that I think about it, he can be defined as such, literally).

I just wish that this Before Midnight's Celine chooses to see for the rest of her life.

 

"I would like to communicate with you about Difficult Things.
We have connected.

I would like to love you if that is how it is. I would like to honor our connection with mutual openness. Or, I would like to lose you if that is how it is. I would not like to dishonor our connection with a lack of communication about the confusing things.

I would not like to lose said connection: connection is a spark, it is rare, a cause for joy. I would not like to lose said spark because of my or your inability to communicate about my or your fear. I do not mind fear: I fear, you fear. I would like to honor our fear by tending to it, by giving it light and letting it relax. I have learned this: when I am gripped by confusion I do not shut down: rather, I talk it out. It is a clumsy, simple tactic that works every time: by giving voice to that which I do not understand or feel comfortable about, my confusion gains sanity instead of calcifying into fear of fear.

If you are afraid, come here and I will hold you into me. Or go away, go for a walk and hold yourself sweetly.

I would like to assure you: I will never resent your fear. Rather: I would like to admire you for acknowledging your hesitation and I trust there are good reasons for it that I can not yet know. And I would like to care if you will let me look beneath your folded wings.

If I truly care for you I must care more about you than about my feelings for you."

"And if you do not tell me, I will fold my wings closed against your heart and I would not like to be friends. For such cowardliness is for children, though children have an excuse: they are children.

...I have made friends with myself, so I do not fear loneliness. I am even fine with disrespect, for my capacity to cease to care is contextualized by my good friend’s repeated advice over the years: “If she does not communicate, she is a child: forget her, you deserve better.”

And so, I say, I would like to forget you."


(Excerpts from Things I would like to do with you when we are confused.)

I am having a difficult time. 

I wanted to make a cake. Yes, make. Since I do not have an oven and I'm not willing to use the turbo broiler. And as if by divine intervention, I found this link on Big Momma's Li'l Kitchen on 21 Things You can Make using your rice cooker. I found two things I needed remembering so decided to post them here.

Apple Cake 
(Original Recipe from here)

Peel two apples, cut each apple into 8 wedges. In a non-stick pan, heat gently 2 tbsp butter, add the apples, toss them around a little and let cook at medium heat for about 5 minutes. Add 3 tbsp cane sugar, mix delicately and let cook until caramelised. Grease the ricecooker’s bowl with a drop of oil and pour the apples and all the remaining caramel into the bowl. Arrange the apples to cover the bottom of the bowl. Then put together 70g (1/2 cup) all-purpose flour with 50g (1/4) cup granulated sugar, 1 teaspoon baking powder, a pinch of salt, 3 tbsp melted butter and two eggs, mix well and pour this batter over the apples, covering them completely. Put everything back into the ricecooker and push the on-button. That’s it! :-) ps. after cooking the cake, allow it to cool in the mold for 20 minutes, and unmold delicately on a serving plate. Serve with crème anglaise or a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

• 1 box of Dunkenhein's Devil's Food Chocolate Cake mix (mix all necessary ingredients together following the box instructions)
• 1 can of Betty Crocker milk chocolate frosting, divided
• (optional) cooking spray

1. In a rice cooker bowl, spray with cooking spray if your rice cooker bowl is not non-stick. Place all cake mix ingredients together in the rice cooker bowl. Spoon half of the chocolate frosting in the middle of the cake batter.
2. Place the bowl in the rice cooker and push the cook button. (My rice cooker has a slow cooker option, so I pushed that button and it took about 2 hours or maybe even longer. The cooking time may vary according to different rice cookers - so when your rice cooker beeps saying it's done, and you open the rice cooker and it's still liquidy, no worries, just push the cook button again and wait. You may have to repeat this process a couple of times. But remember, the cake will be very moist and worth the wait. Just plan ahead!)
3. When the cake is fully cooked, flip the bowl upside down onto a flat plate. Heat the rest of the frosting in microwave for about 20-30 seconds. Pour the frosting over the warm cake. Serve warm.

― Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

I was writing an article for a magazine and I needed to check if kandinga, had coconut milk or not. From what I could remember, it didn't. But what was served in a famous local joint, it had. So I had to call my mom. And by golly, it felt nice to speak my third (but really my first) language.

In any case, below is the recipe in verbatim. Pardon the incorrectly abbreviated words because this, my dear, is text/SMS speak.

Kandinga Mama's recipe: wash thoroughly whole lungs - est 1 kilo tadtad into small pcs. Place in a deep glass bowl. Make a mixture of 1 to 2 tsps brown sugar 1 tsp rock salt, 1/2 to 1 cup coco vinegar, 1/4tsp ground black pepper, put chili slices if desired. Pour dis mixture into d tinadtad n lungs. Marinate for 30 mins 2 an hour. Saute minced garlic till golden brown, half cook thinly sliced red onions, if desired add ginger strips den placed marinated lungs. Allow 2 gently cook until almost dry. Place 1 to 2 tbsps oil cook 2 to 3 more mins til meat is slightly darker. U can add chopped kangkong stalks.

LEMON CHICKEN STIR FRY
2 tbsp. soy sauce
1 tbsp. cornstarch
1 tbsp. gin
1/2 kg boneless chicken, cut into strips
1/8 cup white vinegar
2 tbsp. rice wine vinegar
4 tsp. sugar
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
3 sliced green onions
1 sliced carrot
1 cup sliced green pepper
1 tsp. minced garlic
2 tbsp. oil

Mix soy sauce, cornstarch and gin. Add chicken strips to marinate. Stir the vinegars and sugar together and set aside. Heat a tablespoon of oil in large skillet. Stir in green onions, carrot, green pepper and garlic. Remove. Add 2 tablespoons oil and heat. Add chicken and marinade. Stir fry just until cooked through. Stir in lemon mixture. Reduce heat and simmer covered 2 minutes. Stir in vegetables. Serve hot with rice.

BO LO GAI 
1/2 kg. chicken breast, cut in strips
4 tsp. gin
4 tbsp. soy sauce
4 tbsp. ketchup
4 tsp. cornstarch
3 1/4 c. water
2 cups pineapple, cut in strips

 Combine gin and soy sauce and marinate chicken in it for 30 minutes. Combine ketchup, cornstarch, and 1/4 cup water and set aside. In a wok or pan, bring 3 cups water to a boil and add the chicken and pineapple. Cover and cook for 3 minutes. Add the ketchup sauce to the wok or pan and stir and cook until the sauce thickens and the ingredients are well greased. Serve over rice. Makes 4 servings.

This is my version of TGI Friday's Oriental Chicken Salad (or something like that). Found a copycat recipe and tweaked it a bit.
 
Basically, I used mixed greens and chicken (if you can grill chicken breast, great. In my case, I substituted it with roasted chicken meat without the skin) and then 1 can (11 oz) of Mandarin Oranges (mine is First Street), drained. I kept 1/4 cup syrup from canned mandarin oranges for the dressing which is made with:
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder or chopped garlic
1/4 cup  vinegar, mine's Bragg's
2/3 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons honey
mixed greens
grilled chicken breast

In a bowl, place the mixed greens first. Then some orange slices, chicken and then 2 tablespoons of the dressing. Chill. Toss and eat.

While browsing through feeds Facebook, I found this link to 50 Life Hacks to Simplify Your World and I just had to keep a copy of the brownie in a mug hack.Photo credit is stated in the site.

Happy Sunday!

"I think the most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work for forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement! You go to college, you do drugs, alcohol, you party, you have sex, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating.... You finish off as a gleam in somebody's eye."- Sean Morey, American Comedian

This would have been awesome. I just thought that the person who thought about it must be some kind of genius.