I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

Woke up quite early today. Watch two DVDs with my uncle: Nanny Diaries and Must Love Dogs. The poem above's from the latter.

But it was the first that moved me to tears. Pfff.

This is a long overdue post I wanted to write.

When I read Tweet's entry about the movie Twilight which you can read here, I made a resolution to watch it. I wanted to know if this movie, a vampire-human love story, will make me feel kilig.

And it did. Probably not during the same sappy moments that most teenage girls like but during this one scene when Edward played the piano. It is not everyday you find a vampire who can play a piece named after you. *sigh*

I went with my youngest brother. Last December 3, 10 pm and I sat in H12 of Eastwood Cinema 2. How do I remember these details? I kept the ticket and I am looking at it now. This ticket will go to the trash in a few minutes. After I finish this and my last Toohey's New draught beer for the night.

With the difficult times I have been through, I shouldn't be someone who will root for this human-vampire love story. Diyusko naman. Ang tanda ko na para kiligin."I should know better," having been through heartbreaks, major and then some.

Inside the cinema though, I kept my been-there older-woman composure. Sure, there was a youthful, romantic energy in the theater but this did not affect me. Or at least that was how I wanted to look like. But at certain times, I was texting "I love Edward" to Monette who was waiting for me somewhere in Makati. My brother didn't know I was kilig (which somehow made the feeling contained so stronger). It was a moment when I was solely responsible to myself and myself was not particularly feeling good about how myself was feeling kilig. But during that piano moment, I knew that I still was still the same girl who gets kilig even if no one else knows about it. That evens out things. Kilig has its purpose. Made me realize I am in fact, someone whose heart was once broken but is now capable of loving again. As Tweet says "It was really nice to discover that, no matter how many legitimate reasons I have for being otherwise, I will always be that idealistic, romantic girl who would hold out for the real thing—for the thing that was real to her. Because she had decided long ago that nothing less is worth it."

And like I said in this blog last September 30, 2005:

I want REAL love. Consuming, inconvenient, can't-live-without-each-other love.