If there is anything that I will always be thankful for is that I am blessed with ways of finding out the truth about people and things and situations. It is as if the universe conspires for me to be able to do so. And it is also a curse as I have no reason to ignore it.

I am not the kind of person who says a lot. I will just listen. Observe. I never judge because I do not want to be judged. And it is frustrating for me when people talk behind my back. There are things I do or not do because I am careful of its implications.

Sometimes not making a point is my point.

I did receive this email on this guy a year ago (or maybe years ago?) I can't recall and don't exactly know who he is. I hope someone tells me soon.

Yes, the email had someone's photo laid out similarly sans the gorgeous factor. I was thinking, Pol will find him gorgeous, Ho will say that he is delicious and Bente...hmmm I don't exactly know. Bente is a bit complicated. But I love Bente nonetheless.

I was checking my first social networking site and I found out I have been deleted from V's friends list. Told Wab about it but she said someone told her the site is having problems with this feature. Just to make sure, I called V and was informed maybe I did the deleting but I just forgot.

Did I? I can't remember.

My bestfriend got this which made her really cry.

"I don't like to fall in love too deep. I really like you. I don't want to lose you. But I don't want a relationship. I want to be independent. Can you understand that?"

As a matter of fact, no, i don't understand this. But I do admire the courage.

Wanting to see someone as much as you can just because you want to make the most out of the time you can spend together is about OPTIMIZING time. It doesn't mean she wants to spend the rest of her life with you which is what being in a "relationship" is for her. Do you get it? Don't jump into conclusions.

And don't try to hold her hand. FYI, you are sending her the wrong message.

This post is past due. Wab sent me this site faceyourmanga.com and I did three, one for each of my dispositions in life. Wab, by the way, is getting married in March to the love of her life. I haven't really asked her about this. I am letting it sink in. It is great news and at the same time, it is kind of a hmmm newsflash of another kind.

From this point on, I am introducing a new tag in my posts, Pol a.k.a. "ang may katuwang sa buhay." Went to Mogwai with Pol and Bente last Friday. Pol treated us to a plate of Sole Fillet Pasta. I had rhum coke light, Bente had SML + Vodka7. Pol, 2 SMLs.

I love Fridays.

A song by Sara Tavares, Portuguese woman of African descent which means My Love (Meu Amor) or My Dear (I will have to find out)

Sair à rua com uma sede imensa
De te esquecer
Sentar-me num lugar com indiferença
Por não te ver
E de repente sei que é isto que não quero
Olhar à volta e saber que ainda te espero
Sentir a sensação de quem não está no seu lugar
Não quero lá estar
Assim...

Nha Cretcheu
Nha Cretcheu
Nha Cretcheu
Nha Cretcheu

Voltar a casa com um sentimento
De solidão
Fingir que estás no pensamento
Sem razão
E de repente sei que é isto que não quero
Voltar a casa e saber que ainda te espero
Fazer de conta que já estou no meu lugar
Não quero lá estar
Assim...

Nha Cretcheu
Nha Cretcheu
Nha Cretcheu
Nha Cretcheu

E de repente sei que é isto que não quero
Voltar a casa e saber que ainda te espero
Fazer de conta que já estou no meu lugar
E não quero lá estar
Assim...

Nha Cretcheu...

Oo
Updharmadown


‘Di mo lang alam
Naiiisip kita
Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako
‘Di mo lang alam
Hanggang sa gabi inaasam makita kang muli

Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang pahanon
At ngayon ako ay iyong iniwan
Luhaan, sugatan, ‘di mapakinabangan
Sana nagtanong ka lang
Kung ‘di mo lang alam
Sana’y nagtanong ka lang
Kung ‘di mo lang alam

Ako’y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Hindi mo lang alam
Kay tagal na panahon
Ako’y nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon para sa’yo

Lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya
‘Di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta
Kung ako’y nagkasala patawad na sana
Puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal

‘Di mo lang alam
Ako’y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Puro s’ya na lang
Sana’y ako naman
‘Di mo lang alam
Ika’y minamasdan
Sana’y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam

‘Di mo lang alam
Kahit tayo’y magkaibigan lang
Napapaligaya lang sa tuwing nagkukulitan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Ako’y nandito lang
Hindi mo lang alam
Matalino ka naman

Kung ikaw at ako
Ay tunay na bigo sa laro na ito
Ay dapat bang sumuko
Sana hindi ka lang pala aking nakilala
Kung alam ko lang ako’y masasaktan ng ganito
Sana’y nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko

‘Di mo lang alam
Ako’y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Puro s’ya na lang
Sana’y ako naman
Isang kindat man lang
‘Di mo lang alam
O, ika’y minamasdan
Sana iyo’y mamalayang di mo lang pala alam
Oooooooo

Malas mo
Ikaw ang natipuhan ko
Di mo lang alam
Ako’y iyong nasaktan

"Love me less but love me for a long time. - Ismael of the French film Love Songs”

I miss gayness.

I posted this earlier this year in another site but I feel this should also be here. This is my tribute to all my gay friends who've stuck with me despite my stubornness in love, after, and in between. I miss you guys.

February 25, 2008

So I read these "Glossarychina" from K's site. I'm posting it because I believe it will help promote world peace :) And because Dickie called me yesterday. And because I texted Jin and because I miss Ho. Ano na lang ang mundo kung wala sila? So I don't mind having lots of gay friends. And I'm missing them!

EXPRESSIONS:
"Bona!" - Tanga! (Kasi it's not Promil.)
"Carry.", "Keri." - Pwede na.
"Chever!" - (Expression ni John Lapus pag natutuwa siya.)
"Chos!", "Charot!", "Charing!", "Charito Solis!"- Just kidding.
"Cynthia?" - Sino siya?
"Gravity!" "Rawr-rawr!", "Rowrr-rowrr!" - Grabe!
"Hello Waffer!", "Halloween!" - (greetings of) Hello !
"Imbay!" / "Imbyerna!" - Kainis!
"In Fairview..." - In fairness...
"Juice ko!" - My God!
"Kape!" - (Mag-kape ka/siya/sila nang magising sa katotohanan.)
"Kebs!", "Kiber!" - Wala akong pakialam!, Deadma!
"Ligwak." - Lagot ka.
"Majonga!" - Bonga!
"Malaybalay, Bukidnon!" - Malay ko!
"Malaysia at Pakistan!" - Malay ko at paki ko!
"Malaysia India Japan." - Malay ko.
"Mars..." - "Mare..." , "Sistah..."
"Miss Malaysia!" - Malay ko.
"Namaste!" - Naman!
"Plangak!", "Korak!", "Flangganah!", "Kaplang!" - Correct!, Exactly!
"Psychological!", "Psycholo!" - Kaloka!
"Sushmita Sen." - Susmaryosep.
"Taruz!", "Kabog!" - Taray!
"Touchtone Picture." - Hawakan mo.
"Urky!" - "Kaloka!" (Sosyal version)
"Wa na splok." - Wag ka na lang maingay.
"Wa-i na!" - Wag na!
"Watashi..." - Si ano...
"Wes datis." - Walang pera.
"Wes konowang." - Hindi ko alam.
"Wes piyok." - Quiet lang.
"Wes taoshious." - Walang tao.
"Wit ko bet." - 'Di ko type.
"Wit!", "Wa-i!" - Ayoko
"Wit!", "Wiz!" - Hindi!

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT:
"Girl!", "Lolah!", "Ateh!", "Mamah!", "Titah!", "Sister!", "Mother!", "Bakla!"

PROPER NOUNS:
Ace Sanchez - a top
Aglipay - ugly Pinay ( jowang pokpok na chaka ng mayaman na foreigner )
Ana, Anaconda - ahas, traidor
Anita Linda, Aida - A.I.D.S.
Ate Vangie - gamot pampatulog (Ativan Gang)
Ate Vi - atrebida
Backstreet Boys - cute guys sa likuran mo
Bayombong, Nueva Viscaya - masturbate
Bebang, Mayta - maid
Blusang Itim - mga bakla na gumanda nang maayusan sa parlor
Cathy Santillan, Kate Gomez, Cathy Mora, Cathy Dennis - makati, malibog
Chabelita - chubby
Chanda Romero - tummy (ang laki ng Chanda Romero nung pulis) / an old woman
Chiquito - maliit
Churchill - sosyal
Crayola Khomeni - iyak
Dakota Harrison Plaza - malaki tite
Debbie Gibson - give
Duty Free - maliit ang nota
Ella Mae (Saeson), Ella Fitzgerald, Ella Luansing - state of feeling horny
Eva Kalaw - evak
Felix Bakat - bakat ang tite (sa brief or pants)
Girlie Rodis - babae
Givenchy - give, pahingi
Halls - tsupa
Indiana Jones - hindi sumipot
Janjalani, Pocahontas - bakla na palaging late o indyanera
Jennilyn (Mercado) - cheap, chaka
Joana Paras - asawa
Julanis Morisette, Reyna Elena - umuulan
Julie Andrews - mahuli
Kelvinator, Kelvina - babaeng mataba, sinlaki ng refrigirator
Leticia Ramos Shahani - shabu
Lilet - bading na bagets
Lucita Soriano - loss na, sorry pa
Lucrecia Kasilag - baliw
Luz Clarita, Luz Clarita, Luz Valdez - talo, loss ang beauty
Maharlika, Mahalia Jackson - mahal
Manilyn Reynes - malibog
Miss Nigeria - negra
Murriah Carey, Morayta - mura
Nora Daza - magluto
Oprah Winfrey, O.P.M. - oh, promise me, pangako, utang
Phil Collins - Philcoa
Purita Kalaw Ledesma, Purita Kashiwara, Pureta Malaviga - poor, dukha
Rica Paralejo, Nina Ricci - mayaman
Rita Gomez - naiirita
Ruffa - laklak
Siete Pecados - tsismosa
Thunder Cats - gurang
Tom Jones, Tommy Lee Jones - gutom
Uranus - puwet
Washington D.C. - wala
X-Men - mga dating lalaki
Yayo Aguila - dyahe
Zsa Zsa Padilla - o siya, sige!

ADJECTIVES & ADVERBS
48 years - sobrang tagal
antibiotic - antipatika
balaj, valaj - balahura
bella - boba
bigalou - big
biway, chopopo, guash - gwapo
bongga, bonggakea - super to the max
borta - malaki katawan
boyband - lalaking sintaba ng baboy
buya - nakakahiya
chaka, chuckie, shonget, ma-kyonget, chapter, jupang-pang - ugly
cheapangga, chipipay - cheap, ka-cheapan
chipipay - cheap
chopopo - gwapo
conalei - baklush
daki - dako
dites - dito
doonek - doon
effem - halatang bakla
emena gushung - malanding semenarista
fayatollah kumenis - payat
ganda lang - for free
ganders - maganda
intonses - sira, wasak
jongoloids - bobo
jowa, jowabelles, jowabella - karelasyon, boyfriend o girlfriend
jutay, juts - maliit
kabog, loss - talo
katagalugan - matagal
katol - mukhang katulong
kirara - pangit / maitim
klapeypey-klapeypey - pumalakpak
krang-krang - hungry (same as Tom Jones)
krung-krung - sira ulo, baliw
lulu, tungril, tetetet - lesbian
mahogany, mashumers, ugmas - mabaho
majubis - mataba / gusgusin
matod - magnanakaw
nakakalurky - nakaka-shock, nakaka-takot
neuro - napaisip bigla, mind-boggler
oblation - walang saplot
otoko - lalakeng lalaki
pamin, paminta, pamentos, pamenthol - discreet gay guy
pinkalou - pink
pranella - praning
quality control - maganda ang quality
sangkatuts - marami, isang katutak
shala - sosyal
shogal - matagal
shokot, bokot - takot
shonga, shongaers, planggana - tanga
shonga-shonga - tanga-tanga
shonget, makyonget - ugly
shontis - buntis
sudems - never
tamalis - tamad
urky - nakakaloka
warla - loka-loka, nawawala sa sarili, nababaliw-- isn't it that this means "war" as in mag-kaaway or may tampuhan?
wasok - contraction ng "wasak pag pasok"
wiz, waz - wala
wrangler, thunder(s), tanders, majonders - matanda

NOUNS, PRONOUNS AND PREPOSITIONS
adez, andabelz, adesa, anda, ka-andahan, andalucia - pera
akesh, akembang - ako
badet, dinga, dingalou - bading
berru - beer
borlog - tulog, power nap
bottomesa, bottones - a bottom
bufra - boyfriend
carrou, carosa - car
cheese - chismis
chimi, chimini, chimi-aa, chimini-aa - maid
constru - construction worker
ditey, ditich, ditraks - dito
feelanga - crush
fiampey - singit, etits, flower
garapata - vaklush na punggok na majubis
gardini - security guard
gishi - shabu
gulay, pechay, bilatch, tahong - babae
hada - oral gay sex
hammer - pakonyo effect sa mga prosti or callboy, "pokpok"
havana - mahabang mukha
hipon - maganda ang katawan pero panget
itich, itechlavu - ito
itich-me-how - etits, penis
jipamy - jeep
jowa, jowawis - lover, boy/girlfriend
jubelita - vaklita, batang bading
kat-kat - sosyal na tawag sa katulong
katol, chimay - katulong
kyota - bata
kyotatalet - sanggol
likil, mentos, future - lalaki
merlat, melat, bilat, mujer - babae
nota, notes - penis
pa-uring - a bottom
performance artist - mahilig mag-inarte
potato queen - chink for chinks
red alert - menstruation
rice queen - chink folks who go for white guys (?)
colbam, sholbam - callboy
shulupi - pulubi
shumod, shumodity - tamod
suba, bugarou - cigarette
success story - babae/lalaki na mukhang katulong na may lover na foreigner na masalapi
katuray - baklang mukhang katulong na mataray
tayelz - tayo
variables - barya, coins
wigwam - wig

VERBS
bacstroke - bugbugin
bet, fillet - gusto
bionic, bayas, bayis - magjakol
bona, kimbash, uring - tirahin sa pwet
bongkang, shongkang, tsuplukan - kumantot
booking - to hook up with someone
borlog, tulogsi - matulog
dramamin - umaastang lalaki
entourage, enter the dragon - pumasok
getluck - kuhanin
gora, godelya - go
hada, koflang, kops - suck
jeverly, kalaw, erna - dudumi
krompal - sampal, but with an attitude (kasi may kasamang kuko)
lafez, lafang, lafour - kain
nomo-nomo, normok - inom
payola - pay
rampage - rampa
rendez-vous - takbo
shonggal - tanggal
sight - look
strungga - nenok, nakaw


Pag di niyo nakuha kokrompalin ko kayo.

Lola (pronounced as Lala) just died. She looked like she was just sleeping, with her usual position of two front legs up. But upon closer look, she has stopped breathing.

She used to live in an exclusive village. My friend Barbie found her and "rescued" her. She was so neglected she had a boy's name. For 10 years she lived with that. It was only after she was groomed (and was nicknamed Kojak) that they discovered she was a girl. Having more than what she can already handle, my friend sent picture messages of Kojak, asking if anyone wanted to adopt her.


Kojak (sent over MMS)

Nobody seemed to want her, said Barbie, when I asked. She was worried I wouldn't like her that she offered to let me take a look before I decide. But I said it won't be necessary. So we picked her up, with a nice note from Barbie that she will be missed. When I first saw her, you wouldn't think she was 10 years old. She was shy but she immediately warmed up to me that of the three people who were there to pick her up, I was the only one s/he didn't try to bite.

It was love at first sight, maybe. Or trust.

And I named her Lola (pronounced as Lala) V*****. We got along pretty well. I'm a sucker for beautiful eyes and these, she had. The first night she spent with us, I almost got angry with my brother who I thought slept through the Smallville Episode we were watching. I heard snoring! And it turned out, it was my dog!

Lola, my shihtzu saved me from spending nights alone in my apartment. She is pretty low-key. She likes SM Bonus dog food and won't even touch Alpo. She doesn't mind if you cut her hair. She's simple like that. She's been to a Kuh Ledesma concert at Eastwood. She also has gone malling and had stayed at Starbucks. She's gone on a road trip, from Manila to Naga City. She has experienced the country, of running and falling into grass (it was so funny seeing her bewildered with the lawn. It was awe and fear at the same time). But being brave that she is, she began to walk. And we ended up chasing each other. I meant she running after me. It was cool that she responded to "Lala" although sometimes she forgot we were referring to her. She was the first stranger I have brought to a family reunion in Legazpi. So yes, she has experienced a road trip from Naga to Legazpi. So yes, she has spent time with my family. My youngest cousins, Stephen and Fiona, had a blast running after her and with her. It was so funny when she stopped, too tired to play, and Stephen begging her to. But she won't budge. Something that I like about her. She stands (okay sits) her ground. If she needs something, she wont stop until you give in. But she's pretty quiet (no complaints about barking) when she's left at home alone. When she needs to pee, she will tell you. She prances and shuffles around. She snores. She sleeps like a human. And she's simple. And pretty. It's been a year and 9 months since we first met.

If myths are true that pets save you from evil things that are about to happen to you, Lola just might have offered her life to protect us.

To Lola, I know we dont have the perfect relationship but I want you to know, I love you. I'm sure you will find Tatad and Tagtag in pet heaven.

This always makes me want to cry. Specially No. 10. Not because of Heath, but because of who I would say it to. If I went to the same college with him, of course. And if at that time I am the way I am now.


I first saw this next video in my hotel room in Waterfront. You know, when you have a room to yourself and you leave the television on to keep you company. So I was trying to sleep and this came out as the top video. I like the rawness of the feelings of the girls here. And the fact that somehow, no matter how older we get, there will always be things that will never change.

I wonder how many videos I can find to say why.

"MOVING ON is not about NEVER LOOKING BACK. It's about taking a glance at yesterday and noticing how much you've grown since then."

How profound. I do not know why I sent this. Was I trying to "defend" myself? I don't know. Who cares?

"Love is not something that will begin and end in a moment. Like a spark. It's just something we go on to create together."

This line was from Taereung National Village, a Koreanovela my brother bought. He chose it in light of the Beijing Olympics. It's actually short. Just 8 episodes, a far cry from the others we have seen (or in my case started but didn't finish). So short that we finished it in one go. We took turns reading the subtitles (he'd check on his RPG; I'd go to the toilet and pee) . And yes, it made me cry. boohoo. Well, as I may have established before, I'm making up for the lack of tears I've shed when I was younger. And the video here was one of the songs in the series that hit me hard. Sort of made me remember a few months back (April to June).

Cry now, smile later.

pyane--the first Korean word I learned. And it means sorry and all the sh*t and pain that go with it, and all the hope and faith, too. I first learned it with My Sassy Girl, the first Korean film I've ever watched, which I believe I have seen 11 times already. From that time on, I sort of became a fan of their films so I got to see Il Mare and knew what it was before someone thought of doing a Hollywood version which we now know as the Lake House.

I stopped about two years ago when I discovered what MU meant or rather who MU was. This not only broke my heart but also banned anything with "almond-shaped eyes" infront of my BIG, BROWN and SAD eyes.

I know that you don't like that I always, always want to know if you're okay, if work sucks, if you're tired. I know it irritates you. Nakakasakal, I know. But I remember you more than the times I let you know. You used to be the same. But I don't want to stop myself just because I'm afraid masakal ka. I can't lose you because I already did. I won't apologize because I still don't think it's wrong to let people know as much as you can that you think about them. I also know that no matter what I do, or I don't do, they all don't count. If love is a game, and the rules say "don't make yourself always available for someone you love," I'd rather not play.

This is the scene at my sister's wedding.
She's getting drunk, regretting that she got married for the third time.
My mom's sprouting snakes from her hair in jealousy. lt was perfect ...
We've got three feminine archetypes: The divine whore, Medusa -
- and me. What archetype am l?
- The Virgin Mary? - Thanks a lot, Trevor.
No, the faithful handmaiden. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
lt proves what Jung said all along.
Myths and archetypes are alive and well and living in my apartment.
As l stood beside the altar beside my sister and her husband to be, -
- it struck me that this ritual, a wedding ceremony, -
- is the last scene of a fairy tale. They never say what happens after.
That Cinderella drove the prince mad by obsessively cleaning the castle.
They don't say what happens after because there is no after.
The be-all and end-all of romantic love was ... Mike?
- Sex? - You have sex on the brain.
- Marriage. - But it wasn't always like that.
The 12th century had ''courtly love'', which had nothing to do with sex.
The relationship between a knight and a married lady of the court ...
And so they could never consummate their love.
They rose above ''going to the toilet in front of each other'' love, -
- and went after something more divine.
They took sex out of the equation, leaving them with a union of souls.
Think of this. Sex was always the fatal love potion.
Look at the literature of the time.
All consummation could lead to was madness, despair or death.
Experts, scholars and my Aunt Esther are united in one belief:
True love has spiritual dimensions, while romantic love is a lie.
A myth. A soulless manipulation. And speaking of manipulation ...
lt's like going to the movies and seeing the lovers kiss ...
The music swells, and we buy it, right?
So when my date kisses me, and l don't hear strings, l dump him.
The question is, why do we buy it?
Because, myth or manipulation, we all want to fall in love.
That experience makes us feel completely alive.
Our everyday reality is shattered, and we are flung into the heavens.
lt may only last a moment, an hour, but that doesn't diminish its value.
We're left with memories we treasure for the rest of our lives.
l read, ''When we fall in love, we hear Puccini in our heads.''
l love that. His music expresses our need for passion and romantic love.
We listen to La Bóheme or Turandot, or read Wuthering Heights, -
- or watch Casablanca, and a little of that love lives in us too.
So the final question is: Why do people want to fall in love -
- when it can have such a short run and be so painful?
- Propagation of the species? - We need to connect with somebody.
- Are we culturally preconditioned? - Good, but too intellectual for me.
l think it's because, as some of you may already know ...
While it does last, it feels fucking great.





Really great script from The Mirror Has Two Faces.
Watch it on HBO this month.

My brother said he watched this movie with my mom at Emily theater. I was wondering how come I didn't go with them? And then I found out it was shown 1996, the year I started as an Iska.

This is the second movie I've seen recently that has Barbara Streisand. The first one, which I also liked, was The Way We Were which was played on our ride home from Baguio.

Sure, true love is different from romantic love but it doesn't mean that true love can't be romantic =)

You Are A Professional Girlfriend!

You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise! Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro. If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you. You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

Your Thinking is Concrete and Sequential

You are precise, orderly, and realistic. You tend to get to the point and get things done. Difficult, detailed work is easy for you. You take things step by step. Time limits aren't a problem for you either. You work well with deadlines. What does drive you crazy is any sort of task that isn't precisely laid out. You don't like anything to be ambiguous. You prefer to deal with the facts at hand.

Years ago, I made a plan. Have a boyfriend when I turn 25. And marry him three years later, on this day. August 8, 2008. I was pretty sure I was on track when I found my first real, official boy(without a space)friend on January 8, 2005. It wasn't a whirlwind. It was well-thought of, all aspects considered.

We were classmates in high school. He was the only person who wrote me a letter when I was a freshman. I still remember the paper had a giraffe. I wrote him back but he never wrote back again. We lost contact, with occasional news about him from his siblings who were my choirmates, only for a year or so when he got into a relationship. That said, he fancied me when we were in high school. To cut the long story short, he found me again. He said I was his true love and all that jazz. It wasn't easy but we became a couple. Eight, short months officially.

After 3 years, and eight months, I may have not yet trusted anyone else as much as I trusted him. Which makes me sad sometimes. And yes, made me sad today.

...or sing it when the time comes.

The Story of My Life (Abba)
I dont wanna talk
About the things weve gone through
Though its hurting me
Now its history
I've played all my cards
And thats what youve done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
Thats her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking Id be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
Its simple and its plain
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I dont wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
Youve come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all......